i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
