My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
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