Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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