Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
