I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
