I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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