Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
