You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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