This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
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thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
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We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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