life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize