and next time when you feel me up, do it right
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
