me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
apparently the secret to your success is patron
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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