So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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