the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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