So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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