She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
