over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
