What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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