She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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