coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
