So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
