This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
