after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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