Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
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I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
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I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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