Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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