Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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