She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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