so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I FOUND THE LEGS
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
