And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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