it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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