That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
