i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
