I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
