what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
