I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
