fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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