Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
