is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
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Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
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MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
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