Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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