with your own penis?
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
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