I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
