my shit smells like andre
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize