I think I won the penis lottery.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
