I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
