I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I love having hate sex.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
We talked him into tasing himself.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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