if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize