i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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