Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
