I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I lost the right to judge tonight
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
