you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
