Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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