4 words: hood of his car
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize