once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
