Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
