i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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