they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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