that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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