People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
