I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
