You're my little dorito
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
