i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
