You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Swine flu is the new snow day.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
