Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
