ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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