you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
