How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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