My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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