yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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