omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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