If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
